Inner Turmoil at 30
I hit thirty experiencing an inward turmoil. I tried to forget the spirits and move onto Wilbur Smith novels, but I couldn’t. Novels felt wrong. I couldn’t help the feeling I was swimming upstream. I only felt like I was going with the flow when I was reading about the spirit world. There I was a man of the world who felt he had something to give to society. Yet, at the same time, I was burning up inside because I was aware of a destination I had to get to, but I was obliviously on the wrong bus.
Not knowing which bus to catch, I even tried politics. I seriously thought politics was my future. I reasoned that as a politician I would be able to improve people’s lives by strengthening the infrastructure and services that govern them. How wrong I was! Thankfully, I quickly realised politics was not for me. After all, who ever heard of a politician with an electorate full of dead people, but then again…
Nothing I tried career wise felt right, despite giving everything and everyone I dealt with my personal best. My sense of restlessness just kept intensifying as my paranormal experiences escalated. It wasn’t long before those disappointing puffs of smoke I saw as a kid were reappearing in a much stronger form. Before I was married, I remember I arrived home late one night. I barrelled around the corner and slammed straight into an old man standing in the corridor wrapped up in his dressing gown. I found myself apologising then realised he was in spirit. I hadn’t bowled over a poor old man at all. I’d just passed straight through a spirit.
Despite my inner turmoil, I created a life that was acceptable by normal society standards. I worked hard; I saved my money and started gathering assets. I found a wonderful woman and married her. However, at one stage during our courtship, I thought my grandmother had destroyed any hope I had of landing such a beautiful woman. I hadn’t told Vikii much about my extraordinary talent for ‘talking to dead people’ – a hang-up from my teenage years perhaps.
In the house I was living in at the time, the presence of an older woman was always with me. Even though I had never met my grandmother, I felt the presence was her. One day I was standing in the lounge room trying to impress the wonderful woman I intended to marry. I thought I’d demonstrate to Vikii that I was a man in touch with his feminine side. To my male way of thinking there was no better way to demonstrate this than to stand in front of the portrait photograph of my grandmother hanging on the lounge room wall and reveal my deepest emotions about her. “This is my grandmother. I regret I never met her before she died; yet sometimes I feel like she is with me. I feel her presence all the time.” Before my eyes, dear old granny rotated her portrait 180 degrees on the hook before promptly crashing to the floor and landing at our feet upside down. Vikki and I looked at each other then down at the floor. ?Granny just smiled back up at us, upside down. All I could think to say was, “There’s something else you probably should know about me Vikii.”
Vikii, the champion that she is, took the news about my evolving mediumship in her stride. In fact, it was Vikii who suggested I learn to meditate in order to help relieve my inner turmoil. And as it so often happens, the very next day I was told of a very gifted medium living in Busselton. Sadly for me she now resides in America, but to this day I thank her for guiding me in the art of quietening my mind while teaching me to just ‘be’ with my gift. The problem was that when I did learn to meditate and ‘be’ with my gift, the spirit world wanted to ‘be’ in my space with me. My meditation sessions, in the beginning, often got a little too crowded.
Not knowing which bus to catch, I even tried politics. I seriously thought politics was my future. I reasoned that as a politician I would be able to improve people’s lives by strengthening the infrastructure and services that govern them. How wrong I was! Thankfully, I quickly realised politics was not for me. After all, who ever heard of a politician with an electorate full of dead people, but then again…
Nothing I tried career wise felt right, despite giving everything and everyone I dealt with my personal best. My sense of restlessness just kept intensifying as my paranormal experiences escalated. It wasn’t long before those disappointing puffs of smoke I saw as a kid were reappearing in a much stronger form. Before I was married, I remember I arrived home late one night. I barrelled around the corner and slammed straight into an old man standing in the corridor wrapped up in his dressing gown. I found myself apologising then realised he was in spirit. I hadn’t bowled over a poor old man at all. I’d just passed straight through a spirit.
Despite my inner turmoil, I created a life that was acceptable by normal society standards. I worked hard; I saved my money and started gathering assets. I found a wonderful woman and married her. However, at one stage during our courtship, I thought my grandmother had destroyed any hope I had of landing such a beautiful woman. I hadn’t told Vikii much about my extraordinary talent for ‘talking to dead people’ – a hang-up from my teenage years perhaps.
In the house I was living in at the time, the presence of an older woman was always with me. Even though I had never met my grandmother, I felt the presence was her. One day I was standing in the lounge room trying to impress the wonderful woman I intended to marry. I thought I’d demonstrate to Vikii that I was a man in touch with his feminine side. To my male way of thinking there was no better way to demonstrate this than to stand in front of the portrait photograph of my grandmother hanging on the lounge room wall and reveal my deepest emotions about her. “This is my grandmother. I regret I never met her before she died; yet sometimes I feel like she is with me. I feel her presence all the time.” Before my eyes, dear old granny rotated her portrait 180 degrees on the hook before promptly crashing to the floor and landing at our feet upside down. Vikki and I looked at each other then down at the floor. ?Granny just smiled back up at us, upside down. All I could think to say was, “There’s something else you probably should know about me Vikii.”
Vikii, the champion that she is, took the news about my evolving mediumship in her stride. In fact, it was Vikii who suggested I learn to meditate in order to help relieve my inner turmoil. And as it so often happens, the very next day I was told of a very gifted medium living in Busselton. Sadly for me she now resides in America, but to this day I thank her for guiding me in the art of quietening my mind while teaching me to just ‘be’ with my gift. The problem was that when I did learn to meditate and ‘be’ with my gift, the spirit world wanted to ‘be’ in my space with me. My meditation sessions, in the beginning, often got a little too crowded.